To my millions of ardent fans and readers.
I am sorry I havent been writing for a while now. Correction, I HAVE been writing. It’s just that I haven’t posted anything yet. I am currently writing my epic Egyptian adventures and at the same time recording my day to day teaching chores…
There have been interesting developments. I hope to post them as soon as possible.
Later Dudes!!!
Avloomat
I think the ticketing officer has a wicked sense of humor. Not as wicked as Hitler’s genocidal tendencies though, perhaps more along the lines of Wicked Witch of Oz or Good Morning Vietnam’s Wicked Witch of the North, Hanoi! Hanoi!
Anyway, I was pretty sure that he was rolling on the floor in laughter knowing the fact that there I was, stuck in between two Arab men. One that emits the pungent smell of the body odor and bad breath, and the other emiting the stench of rudeness.
It was the perfect material for a new Seinfeld episode. I could imagine it being played out…
If anything, it made me think of my own body odor, bad breath and bad social and language skills. I dread relating that fact to that of my own physical shortcomings.
‘Ladies and Gentlemen, this is your Captain speaking. Apparently, we are having some trouble with the de-icing truck. We will try to locate another de-icing truck…’
As soon as he said that I switched off. With years of unrecorded Kris Flyer, Golden Rewards points, i think that would only imply one thing.
DELAY.
The dreaded word.
The smell and the rudeness seem to have gotten worse as soon as that was announced. I was already praying that that wouldnt be the worse case senario.
There is a saying in Malay that when a bad situation takes its turn for the worse.
Being hit by the ladder after falling down from it… I shudder at such a thought.
The snow around us was falling heavily. The wind blew strongly and my only other fear was that the captain mentioning that the flight have been canceled and that we would all have to come back another day.
I braved myself and braced for the worst.
I looked to the adjacent airliner that was lined up to take off. My friend was in that airplane.
and then…
‘Ladies and Gentlemen, right now the right wing is being defrosted…’
Everytime the pilot mentioned de-ice or defrost, I associated it with ‘the icing on a cake or defrosting the refrigerator’; something that i should have done before i left Shanghai.
True enough within an hour we were off.
The time was 5am, Shanghai time.
Nevertheless, the stench never got sweeter and the rudeness never got politer. I did the only thing that i could. I retreated in a zen-like pose of headphones on outside world off.
I went through two Japanese and a Hollywood movies; the weepy Hula Girls and the very funny Fiction. I think that was what it was called. However, I fell asleep as soon as Will Smith shot down an alien in a cliched dogfight.
I woke up after many hours only to be told that we would not be landing in Dubai but in Delhi. My two neighbors grew smellier and profoundly ruder.
Nevertheless, when we touched down at Delhi something happened that somehow brought me to shame for having such superficial conclusions.
My neighbor on the right was interacting with a man and his toddler on the right hand side.
The toddler had been playing with the blanket and thus was waving it around and suddenly it fell off her grasp and onto the floor. My smelly neighbor picked it up and wrapped it nicely around the toddler. The gave the biggest and most radiant smile that could have lit up the icy dark cold winter snow of Shanghai. My neighbor smiled through his thick mustache.
It had been a testing 15 hour flight. Even the most patient person could have withered under such pressure. Some of what they have said and done might have been uncalled for but I understand it fully.
At that moment in time I thank God profusely that I got through the heavy snow and turbulence and was still alive at that moment in time. I was also thankful that I am still healthy and alive to be writing this to you.
Song of the Day: Stranger Things Have Happened by Foo Fighters
Finger Acrobatics by Avloomat @ 1900hrs Dubai Time
I was walking up the stairs towards the staffroom when someone stopped me.
‘Did you hear?’ Gwen, the beautiful lanky Singaporean teacher said.
She was grinning from ear to ear, almost jumping up and down excitedly at the before mentioned rumor.
‘Hear what?’ I asked.
And then she said it with almost out of breath stutter, ‘That school for the next few days is going to be canceled.’
‘Really?’ I replied looking outside at the incessant snowing that was sweeping the rest of China into an almost state of chaos.
She nodded still unable to wipe off that smile.
I grew excited at the thought of what was to be but I needed an official confirmation before I could really do the Van Halen or Pointer Sisters’ Jump.
I continued with my walk up the stairs.
In my head I was contemplating on a few senarios. A few good ones and a few not so good ones.
The few good ones were of course, if that were true, then I should look to see if I could go to Istanbul a bit ealier or wrap a few otherwise procastinate exposed errands such as signing a new lease for the apartment. I have a shopping list to do… maybe that could be done at a leisurely pace.
The other not so good ones were wrapping up official school work and also the thought of making up for the would be lost a few school days and a Parent Teacher Conference that would definitely be scheduled for another day.
I think the good thoughts outweigh the not so good ones.
I could feel the excitement throughout. Everyone were in no mood to do any work unless of course if they were whipped into doing it.
Each class that I went to, the students were asking the same broken record question.
Is it true? Is it true?istitrue?issruuuuuue?go to the zoooo????BANZAI BUCKAROOOO!!!
Then the meeting that everyone was anticipating happened.
It was true.
School was going to be canceled for the next few days and thus signaling the early start of the Chinese New Year Holiday.
The mad scramble ensued…
The light snow took the cue and became heavier snow. The kids were asking if they could play outside. I couldnt take any chances this time since none of the other classes did and became the overgrown spoil sport.
No you can’t.
They would probably have time along this week to do their snowball fights…
Song of the Day: Holiday by Madonna
Finger Acrobatics Performed by Avloomat 1643Hrs
When I was in Perth several years ago, a group of students, the African Students Association of Perth in the uni I was in, decided to hold a football tournament, called appropriately The African Cup of Nations.
My team was invited of course. We were Team Singapore.
I will relate to you about that later.
The Africans as a people are a lovely bunch of people. I hate to call them Africans. That is because there are more than a thousand tribes in the CONTINENT of Africa. And they speak a different language. The ignorants usually mentioned Africa as if it is a small tiny island South of the Carribeans.
Anyways, the people from that continent are always jovial, always loud, always together and always fun.
Do not believe what those ‘learned’ people say about them having more affinity towards violence than any other race in the world.
During my stay in Australia, I have only seen the locals doing more of the offensive and inconsiderate.
Personally however, it must be said that I dont think any ethnic group is more violent than the other. People manipulate to gain power. And the quickest way to gain power is through misinformation and chaos.
Regardless of race or religion, anyone in any of these so-called groups exist a person who wants instaibility.
Well enough of that.
As one might have expected, the tournament was a carnival. There were drums. There was dancing. There were disorganisation (in a uni carnival sort of way NOT the other meaning).
It was fun!
I had long chats with my ex housemate, Mr Dennis Muhiga of Kenya. Although we were constantly disrupted by our respective duties to our teams, we maintained that thread of cordiality.
The tournament was a 7 aside game; playing each other in sets of 10 minutes; and the games were played in a round robin format. The teams that played were Kenya, Zambia, Zimbabwe, Ghana and Team Singapore.
Funnily, not all who played for the Kenyan team were Kenyans. Some were from Ivory Coast, Mali, Senegal, Seychelles, Zambia, and Zimbabwe or Bahrain. The same goes to the other teams. There were of course the other African teams from other unis.
We all just wanted to play football.
Anyway, I have veered off course. Back to Dennis Muhiga.
He was my buddy and comrade in arms. We bonded because we share the same disdain for someone. That’s healthy isnt it? Of course we had a couple of things that were of common interest to both of us. The love for Liverpool Football Club that is.
However, I suspected that he was fascinated by my being because he had never thought that such a tiny Asian man would be such a Casanova.
But for the umpteenth time, I shall reiterate my protestations. I am NOT what he says I am. Like the Africans too, people say the damnest thing about me.
He and Alexander Qader, a French-Afghani used to come by my place with two sets of 6 packs and we would just hang out and smoked away.
Those were good times.
The tournament for our team wasn’t. We were a patched up team. A team of wooden legged footballers. Well compared to the other teams at least.
The Africans had natural stamina and strength. On top of that, they had some Bahrainis on their teams. And it had been agreed then that in Perth, they were the most skillful of the lot.
And what did we have? A bunch of nerds… we were a team of players whom the other teams didn’t want…
Like most of the other teams, we too weren’t strictly Singaporean. Maybe 5 of us were, but the not the rest 6.
… and I was… ahem… the captain.
I knew what we were up against. Basically we were there for the mauling…
I told the other players that we were there to have fun and we will have fun if we try hard not to lose.
… o yes.. I told them to .. ahem.. play dirty…
First game. Zambia.
Those guys were fast! They were strong. They were skillful!
But they couldnt go past our defence. I lost half of my voice at the end of it. If it werent a football match I would have lost a few friends in my own team…
I screamed, I cajoled, I cursed, I swore… I organised chaos…
The result? 0-0. We were the team every football fan dreaded. Not because we were Singaporeans but because we were a bore.
Next game Kenya. 1-1.
By the final game, we had accumulated 2 points altogether. We were however, at a disadvantage. While we were undefeated, the other teams we scoring goals for fun against Nigeria. Kenya’s and Zambia’s respective winning socres were 9-0 and 10-0.
We had to beat the Nigerians by an 11 goal margin to progress to the next round.
That sounds easy doesnt it?
However, against us, for some reason the Nigerians fielded a different team. One that is a mix of players from the other winning teams.
We felt that we had been shortchanged.
On the one hand, I felt sorry for them. On the other, I felt that we were purposely disadvantaged.
CONSPIRACY!!!
We trudged on nonetheless, in the nonchalant Singaporean fashion that we are famous for.
In the end, we won 3-0 but that wasnt enough to progress.
I wasnt too disappointed. I sat down at the stands with the rest of the participants, players and the spectators.
We talked, laughed and danced.
At the heart of the African Cup of Nations, we were united by the sense of humanity and friendship.
No one had a political agenda or a self serving…
you know what I mean.
At the heart of it was just about You, Me, Him, Her and a nice afternoon kick-about…
Song of the Day: Who’s Gonna Ride Your Wild Horses by U2Finger Acrobatics Performed by Avloomat @ 1554Hrs
AND So we all staggered into the auditorium for an informal meeting with our new headmaster aka a meet and greet session…
Judging by the crevices on his face, he seems battle scarred with a few school in his belt. Bald plated yet sturdy, he seemed too young to be 60 or 62 and officially retired as a school principal in his hometown.
But by accepting this job, he has postponed his retirement further.
And thus he spoke…
I HAVE WORKED IN….
… and so he has… he IS a battle hardened individual. A man who lived through the old school to the new school of thought.
frankly speaking, i drifted in and out of the speech not out of disinterest but because it is 2 Degrees outside and it has been a LONG day.
Sometimes listening and most of the times not. He spoke of his informal conversations with a couple of teachers here.
CHANGE!
That was all that I got from him so far. That seems to be the buzzword that has been hovering around us all week long. Questions filled our minds and there were aplenty….
How is he different from the previous guy? Is he going to change the school much?
He spoke of the challenges ahead.
CHALLENGES!
Yes. There is so much of a challenge here. Where do I even begin?
I remember Paul Anka’s…
WHEEEEEREEEEEE DO I BEGIN!!!!????
Sounds like a long yarn to me…you know the yarn about Ryan O’Neal being the best lover in the world and Ali McGraw was the most unfortunate girl in the Universe in the 70s… and then all our tears starts to drench our cheaply assembled shirts but sold as expensively as possible…
Damn First World Countries…
and then…
‘We should meet more often…’
Everyone’s eyes just lit up. Maybe his bald plate lit up too. That was perhaps why it was so bright then. And then whispers and murmurs ensued…
‘meet more often?meetmoreoften?meeorofen?NEUROFEN!!!???…’
Everyone looked at each other.
To meet more often. NOW that’s a notion that has struck fear into our hearts….
Oh Dear Lord help us… help me…
Outside it began to snow again…
Song of the Day: To Sir With Love by Lulu
Finger Acrobatics Performed by Avloomat @ 2053Hrs
race issues are the very part of my psyche. it is in fact pretty close to my heart for i have been at the receiving end for as long as i have lived…
the link below is an article about the presidential race and the other race issue…
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ucas/20080120/cm_ucas/racialstereotypesaredeeplyembeddedinourculture
to blame the media is an easy way out. in fact its not a way out. but i think it has to do with the so called insulated american psyche. frankly speaking, it seems that the US has been brought up in a cultural/political vacuum.
now, i am not saying this just to pick on americans but it is for the betterment of the world. since the US is a world leader in most things, like it or not, if the US doesnt get better,the world doesnt get better. on top of that, i dont think the other countries eg. china, india or france (yikes!!) are able to take on the mantle as the leader of the world.
the reason i say all the above is because if we look at the types of sports that the american people like, we would notice that they are basically sports that no one else likes (save for a few countries). nevertheless, i certainly have no problems with that. to each its own.
however, this certainly points to the fact that the US doesnt too kindly import sports from the outer rim territories. in fact, until recently, the US did not import anything else except for oil. this i say of course with gross exaggeration. they did import Celine Dion.
without extended exposure to the rest of the world, relationships with unique and different cultures that are more than black or white or merely asian (east, west, central north south?yellow,white,pink,white,brown,black?) are not built and this brought on a detrimental effect on the development of its social world wary skills.
it is true that the US is a cultural melting pot. however, it is still ruled by White Anglo Saxon Protestant culture or basically, children of the Puritans. this is what the immigrants have to conform to.
this is the essence of Americanness.
and through these pair of myopic American blue-eyes that the US sees the world. meanwhile, the cultural melting pot that is being lauded so much in the media is restricted to certain parts of the US only.
the US is basically doing catch up in terms of racial issue.
now that is a big thing to say.
however, if we examine properly, the US has only dealt with one part of the race issue. it has only dealt with black and white and nothing else.
every other color? insignificant.
despite all their black and white issues, africa is still africa. it is mentioned in the US as if it’s a tiny island south of florida except further away.
while the rest of the world have had all kinds of immigrants and dealings with people of other creed, race and religion, it is only now that the US is admitting them in (at least in their social conscience).
thus to think that the election of Obama would solve the problem is totally flawed. i know i may get flogged for this but i believe that Obama is a WASP. his psyche and mentality is still that. his entourage is still that.
the day that the US votes for the children of Chinese or Muslim Immigrants (2nd Generation NOT 200th Generation) would be the day that signifies that their mentality have actually gone global.
but then again what do i know? i am a mere Singaporean. We lick and carry the golden balls of the US.
… and Happy Martin Luther King Day!!!
song of the day: God Gave Rock and Roll by KISS
finger acrobatics performed by avloomat @ 0923hrs
the kids went crazy… those who were in class latched on the window panes watching with envy at their counterparts that were drenched in snow flakes …
and those who were outside were revelling it, were playing that silly game called ‘trying to catch each and every one of our tiny little crystal friends’.
it was a riot in school. it was a pleasant little riot.
the laughter and the smiles ringing all throughout the institution brought cheer to the school. it was a befitting end to an otherwise hard and sombre two weeks. the thing is, the kids just had finished their exams.
thus when i uttered the magic phrase, ‘alright… let’s go outside,’ there was a deathly silence. a pin actually dropped and it didnt make a sound. it was more of a splat.
i turned around non chalantly. walking away ready to go out.
‘mr avloomat, where are we goin?’ a kid at the back asked. ‘outside where?’
‘outside to the field of course,’ i said.
and then it dawned on them. a chorus of cheer exploded in unison. they got up jumped up and down, chattered away, some even dancing and of course, plastered on their faces were smiles that would not be wiped away.
it was pretty hard getting them through the hallway, down the staircase, and through the door without them making it any noise. there was only one way to sush them.
i gave them ‘the glare’.
not a beat later there was silence as they walked towards the door that leads to the ouside world. but still fixed to their faces were expressions of glee and happiness.
and then… we reached the gateway and stairway to heaven…
the first few kids looked at me… no… make that ALL of them… looked at me in anticipation. looking for a sign that says… ‘ok kids!!! time to rumble!!’
i paused….
i nodded my head and gave them the go ahead.
again they cried in unison and rushed through the door and did the dance of the colliding particles. they just went beserk…
ah kids, i was once their species.
so they ran, they walked, they jumped, they chased after each other, they rolled around the grasses…it was a magnificient time…
all these while, my mind’s eye was elsewhere. i flew to a place quite beyond the horizon to a land of hopes and dreams and wishes.
my soul was reaching for someone who would share these moments that defines our humanity…
song of the day: let it snow b frank sinatra
finger acrobatics performed by avloomat @ 1918hrs
Christmas eve was depressing (exaggeration really). Luckily Christmas Lunch wasnt and Christmas dinner was eventful.
Admittedly, we dont celebrate Christmas but i would clutch the straws of holidays like its an oxygen tank while floating merrily in outer space. i know that sounds really ridiculous but if you place yourself in the worst Revenge of the Sith case scenario, that is a near possibility. On top of that, it’s my dream, SO Death to the Al-Kafiruns!!!!
Anyway, back on earth and out of Apocalypse Now, I started off the day with lunch at my sister’s for some pseudo family gathering. You see, her IN LAWS were in town.
Alright, I might have deceived all of you a bit with a bit of writing sleight of hand. It does sound like 8 football teams were in town and that they took over the city like HG Wells’ tentacles driven aliens.
Unfortunately, it was just her brother in law’s big sister and her family. The husband and 2 lovely children. furthermore, it wasnt a polite gathering. It was a no holds barred one; where we spoke our minds and say our piece. it was comfortable and relaxing.
On the table was a roasted lamb leg and string beans and cauliflowers, barbequed chicken, Ceasar Salad, pasta, rice…
Around the table, were monsters disguised as humans seated around the table, ready to pounce of those wonderful delicacies.
We were led by my sister, younger brother, bro in law, bro in law’s sister, brother in law’s sister’s husband, Carol; family friend, and Dave, Carol’s husband. Looking at this I thought that we should all take a picture of everyone and place them on a deck of cards and patent a game after that… wait a minute… there IS such a game.
Drats, and i thought that i was being original.
hold on… well this is China after all… let me get back to you on that one….
Song of the Day: Statues by the Foo Fighters
Finger Acrobatics Performed by Avloomat @ 1234Hrs
When it comes to relationship in this day and age, what do we need? What kind of partner do we desire? What are the desired qualities in a partner?
The only thing that I can say for sure is: I can’t answer that.
Sorry to disappoint. Sorry to have disappointed you my fellow disciples of love.
Recently I had a rather turgid conversation with an ex girlfriend of mine.
It started off well but it took a turn for the wrong and strange.
It had been an amicable break up. At least that was how I remembered it. If it had been any different, forgive me, for this is my selective recollection of my mind.
It had been a wonderful relationship to say the least, until it hit the wall of Long Distance, no make that a triple jump. I see some of you nodding. Indeed, you know what I mean.
By the end of that conversation, although it ended with well wishes, i knew that whatever hopes that i had pinned on to rekindle the old feelings then have definitely been to say the least postponed indefinitely.
i questioned myself. Was this what it was? Were we so in love that we had been blind?
If that was the case, then we are all doomed. Because these all seem like an illusion. It was something that we believed but weren’t true.
And then i realised that between us, things have changed. I am now working full time and so is she. Chipped and tested by work and time, our attitudes and surroundings have changed. Although we are essentially the same people we have changed. As a result, the gloves that used fit the hand now have become too big or too small.
The best fit has always been a compromise. The inability to compromise spells doom for any collaboration.
Collaboration. That is what it is.
Forget desired qualities. Forget the needs.
We try to fit with one another. Once we stopped trying, we stop being in love.
Song of the Day: Time Is On My Side by The Rolling Stones
Finger Acrobatics Performed by Avloomat @ 0649Hrs
So here I am staring at the computer, awaiting for work to drag me into the class. It is not unlike the Green Mile walk to one’s dreaded punishment altough i will stop short of saying that it is a death march. it is not the kids it is not the work it is not the people around me. it is the fact that after several weeks of inactivity i have to crank up my brain to start again. all in the name of love and earning a living.
so the old year has came and passed and the baton has been passed to the new year that is not so new now. anything that is more than a day old is not new anymore. a lot of things can happen in a day.
in a day, you could end a 2 year relationship that was full of promise.
in a day, the immigration officer could call you up and say that you are going to be deported.
in a day, you could have finished a whole stack of marking.
in a day, you could finish a book.
and of course in a day, you could fall in love all over again.
i rode through the sub zero Shanghai morning. my hands froze. my face froze and my feet numbed. but the warmth in my heart remained for i know that someone out there loves me very dearly. and i her too.
during the holidays, i was told a tale of a broken hearted. it pained me to hear such a thing. i hope she will heal soon. life is too short to be taken for granted. life is too short to be wasted on what’s broken and fixing things.
i am really sorry that i sound vague. it shall be revealed in due course of course if you pay attention to detail that is.
to those who have lost loved ones, my apologies i extend. to those who have found new love, my greetings i bid to them.
happy new year everyone.
Avloomat
